It’s almost Halloween! Witches, goblins and ghosts are everywhere, but where is the real boogeyman lurking in your life?
I’ve been spotting patterns these past few weeks – women who take one step forward and two steps back. Self sabotage is the most common hindrance to women moving forward in their lives and careers.
What I notice is, they have become comfortable being uncomfortable. Self sabotage has become the status quo. Do you know what I mean?
It can be with your work, your relationships with family, friends or the one you love, or even in your financial life. You feel stuck. It doesn’t feel good, but you can’t seem to bust a move.
The truth is, when your psyche has become comfortable being uncomfortable, it’s self sabotage at the helm.
It’s a pattern. Maybe you picked it up in childhood, or as a young adult. But then it started repeating itself and it’s likely showing up in the form of resistance.
You feel stuck in situations that are not working (and maybe you rationalize them a lot too), but you can’t deny that something is not right. You feel helpless to change.
Let’s work on this together:
Where are your boogeymen? Take a look at the patterns in your life. Reflect for a minute:
- Do they show up in your relationships?
- In a series of bad choices?
- What you don’t do? The risks you don’t take?
The trick is to first recognize self sabotage and label it as a pattern. Maybe it shows up at work – You don’t feel valued or respected. You get pushed aside or even demoted.
In relationships it shows up as longing for unavailable men, staying in abusive relationships, or playing it ‘safe’ by settling for less than you want.
Patterns hold a grip because there’s momentum built up – it’s the repetition of what doesn’t feel good because it’s what you know. It’s ‘safe.’
Except… it’s anything but safe. It’s what is keeping you small.
It’s letting the fear of a boogeyman keep you on your bed when you really want to pee in the middle of the night, but you’re afraid if you put your feet on the floor he might reach out and grab them. And it’s equally as ridiculous.
So how do you step out of this pattern of discomfort? How do you banish this boogeyman forever?
- Spot your pattern. Where in your life are you repeating an experience over and over and it really doesn’t feel good?
- Come to terms with yourself – what is it costing you to continue the momentum of that pattern of belief?
- What new belief would you like to adopt about this situation?
- What needs to shift inside of you in order for that to happen?
- How willing are you to take that first step? (rate your readiness on a scale of 1-10)
When you step outside of your comfort zone, things fall into place and start going your way – guaranteed. The Universe conspires in your favor if you are willing to embrace your power and possibility.
Once you see yourself differently, others will too. They will respond to this ‘new’ you and you will attract new and positive opportunities and relationships into your life.
What are you willing to risk to find out?
I like the way Seth Godin puts it…
“It’s tempting to rile yourself about the ‘other.’ But that’s not the real challenge. The challenge is inside. It’s the self-sabotage. The projects not shipped, the hugs not given, the art not made. The real boogeyman isn’t the other. The one we are afraid of is within us all the time.”
~ Seth Godin
If you are ready to take that first step, but don’t know where to start, let’s talk. Click here to schedule a complimentary 1:1 session with me. I’ll point out exactly what needs to change for you to get where you want to go.
Are you ready for your Great Do-Over?
Release Fear. Think Clear. Get Into Gear.