Some call her the inner critic. I call mine, “mean girl.”

She gossips about me right to my face. Makes me doubt that I’m successful or doing a good job. She compares me to other people who are more confident, make more money or have a better body. She’s a b*tch in the first degree.

You might know what I mean. 😉

As I spoke with more than 300 women executives in Austin last week, we had some very raw and real conversations about self doubt, fear and self sabotage. What’s become clear to me over the last seven years as a coach is that your inner mean girl is actually driving your bus.

She’s determining what thoughts you think, which in turn dictates how good you feel about yourself, how willing you are to take confident steps forward, or put your own needs before others.

Why do we give her so much power?

When asked on a scale of 1-10 if they had a vision for their life 3 years from now and goals to get there, out of 100 responses, the average score was 3. In other words, kinda sorta not really. When asked what a level 10 life looked like to them, a few said, “Well I don’t need a 10, eight would be great.” Really?

Ladies, we need to be more deliberate with ourselves. We spend more time teaching our children values than demonstrating how to value yourself by example.

So are you ready to live a deliberate life of your own creation?

“Here is an opportunity to show up. It doesn’t take anything away from your boss, your spouse, and kids to ask for more and live a level 10 life.” (tweet this)

It doesn’t take a lot of time. It’s great fun. And, it can actually change the outcome of your work, your relationships, your health and your finances.

Think different thoughts.

First step is to create a vision for where you want to be in three years. If that’s too far ahead, try one year. Put some energy into it. Write an entire essay in your journal about how fabulous your life is. Actually put yourself in that leading role and visualize her as you write it.

Now, think her thoughts. She’s arrived. She has everything she’s asked for. What are the thoughts that are going through her head? Be her now.

It’s a powerful exercise to give yourself permission to be the women you want to be to do what you want to do and have what you want to have. That inner mean girl? Tell her, “I’ll take it from here.” Replace the negative thoughts with “I choose…” You can always switch a thought in a split second once you become aware.

Thoughts drive feelings. Feelings drive actions. Actions get results.

You’ve got this.

Big Love,

Deb Boulanger
CEO, The Great Do-Over
Founder, The Launch Lab for Women Entrepreneurs