I’m a huge fan of Shonda Rhimes. I love her writing, her wit, her imagination, her humor.I love that she can scare the pants off me and make me laugh out loud – all in the same television episode.So, when she came out with her book, Year of Yes, it hit home. I had already spent two years working from home in my fuzzy slippers while my son finished up high school. I coached in my pjs (sorry ladies) and did webinars in my living room.Truth is I hardly went anywhere. I didn’t know anyone outside of my immediate circle, rarely left my home office except to go to the gym and walk the dog and serve on the school PTA. And I was pretty happy. Except… I realized that there was a whole big world out there for me to work with, and I wasn’t going to be able to fulfill my vision for my life and my business if I didn’t step out of my fuzzy slippers.So, I began to say, “Yes.”Yes to speaking engagements. Yes to conferences. Yes to causes I believe in. Yes to launching EBW2020 in New York City. Yes to being the Program Chair at EEWN. Yes to writing. Yes to networking groups. Yes to boards. Yes to moving in with my boyfriend……and last week it hit. I woke up and before I could even get out of bed, I texted my “god girls,”- the ones who are there in a hot minute, open arms, praying, soothing, texting, filling me up.It is great to have them there (don’t get me wrong), and I’m so grateful they have my back, but this hole is deeper and harder to fill….all I wanted to do was go on a retreat–a loooonng SILENT meditation retreat.Meditation is what got me into this trouble in the first place.When I started this journey back to me in 2009, I planned a 10-day silent meditation retreat to find me. My marriage was crashing and burning, I was hitting menopause, and it felt like a ton of bricks. I was traveling too much scaling the business I had launched for Gartner, and I was burning out.Ten days of meditation, walking, no talking and being fully supported by my spiritual teachers, fellow yogis and amazing chefs… and while it felt like I had a narrator in my head running a continuous commentary, it felt great.I had no responsibilities other than peeling and chopping vegetables in the kitchen each day.I slept like a rock.I walked the wooded paths in the beautiful hills.The meals were fabulous.And… I didn’t have to speak to a soul–nada, zilch–not a phone call, not a text message, no facebook or twitter or insta. Just life. As it is. Now. In this amazingly beautiful moment.But the fast pace of life and being a single mom nipped that in the bud about 5 years ago. While my meditation practice and morning ritual remained strong long after, it was only a matter of time before my practice gave way to the demands of my increasingly busy days.Last week, I woke up in tears feeling like a hot mess. Overwhelmed with my new product launch, a demanding client and speaking schedule, and the joy (and complete disarray) of moving in with the love of my life, I was over the top with emotion.Anna called and coached me back into me. Thank god for sisters (it also helps if they are coaches too).Why am I sharing this with you now?Because the world has a way of catching up to you. If you are saying “yes” to others and “no” to you, you may have a brewing hot mess on your hands.Before you crawl back into bed, eat a pint of ice cream or drink another glass of wine, know that waking up a hot mess is part of the journey–a necessary part of the journey.It’s by pushing at your edges that you get bigger, do more, are more and have more. And… it’s a wake up call to get back to your practice.Meditation clears the mind, calms the heart and makes room for insight and inspiration. Every great decision I have made in my life came while sitting in meditation.Every great insight that has led me to this amazing career, and this incredible man who loves me like no other, has first come to me in my journal as I connect to my higher self (source, god) and ask for direction and guidance.It’s also where I am free to dream and create and also ask for what I want. I believe that my body and mind are but a fraction of the real me.The real me has no fear, sees everything with perfect clarity and knows that everything is always perfectly aligned. The real me doesn’t need to get out of her own way, she’s already cracked that code. Gee, I need to hang out with her more, don’tcha think? We all do. You too.Waking up a hot mess tells me one thing and one thing only–I need to get back to me.I decided to use this email to you today to share that you always have the power to self-correct, to get back into alignment, and to get clarity, direction and wisdom. All it takes is 20 minutes.Here we go, ready?Close your eyes now. Take a deep breath, then another, and sit. It’s a wonderful gift to allow yourself to just be. In.this.moment.right.now.Just say yes… to the gift of the real you.
When “Year of Yes” becomes a hot mess
