Should I stay or should I go?

Women in business are on the move.

At a recent breakfast event for women leaders in marketing, sales and product, more than 40% of those in the room were in some form of transition.

Some were very new to their role.

Others were looking to leave a career after 10, 15 or even 20 years.

And some had just been let go…

“We have new management – things that my group does are not valued. I need to reinvent myself somewhere else.”

 

“I want more balance in my life. I hate where I am now, but I like the flexible schedule of working from home. No other job I’ve interviewed for gives me that opportunity. So I have this constant internal debate, ‘should I stay or should I go?’” I end up just spinning my wheels and going nowhere.

 

“My mentor left the organization after an IPO. I get the exceptional reviews, but I don’t go anywhere. I should have a promotion and leadership responsibilities by now.”

Women in their 30’s, 40’s and 50’s across industries and across roles are seeking to do something greater. Take on more responsibility. Have more impact.

Yet, women in senior management roles continue to be marginalized. Outwardly, they will say they are constrained by politics inside the company or lack of senior level roles outside the company. Internally, they struggle with beliefs about self worth, what they truly deserve, what they are capable of and they manufacture fictional stories about the future.

Impostor syndrome appears to be the latest epidemic–leading women to take on more responsibilities than they can handle and tipping the scale on work-life balance–resulting in more stress, strained relationships and health issues.

“I feel like I am not doing enough. When I overdo it, my body can’t handle it. I had a headache for the entire month of September.”

Not all women are looking to reinvent themselves into another job.

A growing percentage of women are leaving the corporate workforce to venture out on their own. The number of businessess launched by women increased 68% in the last five years.

849 new businesses are started by women each day in the United States alone. But 75% of them will fail, for the same reasons women in corporations are failing to reach their dreams.

“Wherever you go, there you are.” Jon Kabat-Zin

Whether you reinvent yourself in a new company or you take control of your freedom, flexibility and passion by striking out on your own, the same truth prevails… wherever you go, there you are.

You can change your outside circumstances, but unless you commit to also shifting the inside, you will likely find yourself repeating the same old story albeit on a different set with different actors.

Whether you stay and reinvent your current job, or you decide to go and reinvent yourself in a new role, here are three strategies that will help ensure you don’t end up in the same rut. 

1. Spot your patterns. Think about your past positions and the dynamics that played out. Where do you have repeating scenarios? Does being a people pleaser cause you to take on more than you should at work or at home? Do you consistently sell yourself short in your skills and talents? Do you undercut your value in what you say or do? Do you tend to be a perfectionist and stress out over routine tasks because inside you feel like an impostor?
2. Rewire your thinking. As you think, so you will become. If you want to make a change and achieve more success or have more balance, you first need to change your belief systems. This might mean coming to terms with your real value, taking more risks and stepping outside your comfort zone. Affirmations are great, but know they won’t work until you first uncover and rediscover your true self worth.
3. Create your own box. Rather than settle for what comes your way, a better approach to making a switch is to get crystal clear on what the ideal situation looks like. How do you spend your time? What is your relationship with your boss and team? What skills do you want to express? Where would you like to grow? What kind of culture will you thrive in? Who do you know that might be able to get you connected to the right people or opportunity? And last but not least, how do you want to be compensated for what you do? 

When you create your next opportunity from the inside out, you are stepping into the fullest expression of who you are as a leader, as a woman, and has a partner/mother.

The choice is yours. Should I stay or should I go? Whichever you choose, make sure you are doing more than simply switching sets. It’s time to step into your leading role.

Here’s to your best next opportunity!