It’s inevitable that bad stuff will happen in your life.
You lose a job.
A relationship ends.
Your health takes a turn for the worse.
Or, something less monumental like being stood up on a date.
In the past week, my clients, friends and family have all experienced contrast. I know I have. I’m sure you have too.
Here’s how it works…
You have a job, you think things are going okay. You’ve been annoyed with some of the inefficiencies you’ve noticed. You’ve highlighted them to management. Next thing you know… “Here’s your last paycheck. We are making some changes. Thank you for your time.”
Stunned. You wonder, “who will hire me at my age?
“You’ve been dating a man for five months. Things are getting pretty serious. You’ve had sex. You feel a real deep connection. Suddenly he doesn’t text any more and calls even less. You may ask yourself, “What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me that he doesn’t want me like I want him?”
Heartbroken. You say, “I thought he was ‘the one!’”
You go for your routine physical. The doctor orders some blood tests. You feel fine. Your results come back with a diagnosis.
Worried. You wonder, “what else could go wrong?”
And everyday there are minor experiences of things that don’t go the way you plan. The guy you’ve been texting for coffee cancels at the last minute – twice.
The check you were expecting doesn’t arrive.
Your flight is cancelled.
You have an argument with your spouse.
Although in the moment these experiences don’t feel good, there’s no such thing as a “bad” experience.
Experiencing what you don’t want is normal – even necessary for you to know what it is that you do want.
It’s what you do with these ‘bad experiences’ that counts. Without a problem, there can be no solution.
It’s only contrast.
Contrast is the birthplace of desire — the flame that fuels your beliefs, your intentions and your future experiences. Without contrast we might all be fools meandering through life – directionless and at the mercy of fate.
So thank that old boss and that old boyfriend. Thank your body for being perfect in every way. Thank the guy that stood you up. Now take your experience of contrast and get in touch with what you really do want.
Your desires and intentions become powerful manifestations of your future experience.
“Where’s the job where I feel vital to the organization? Where my ideas are valued, processes followed and we work in an efficient way and I feel GREAT about going to work everyday?”
“Where’s the man who loves and appreciates me, who puts me first, tells me daily how much he loves me and we have this amazing future that we are creating together?”
“What do I need to do to heal my body – to love myself and honor this soft, yet impermanent organism that I want to rock well into old age?”
Out of contrast is birthed desire.
Over the last week I had the honor of speaking with more than 100 women who are looking for love. Talk about contrast! They have experienced every form of hurt and betrayal. Yet, they are resilient. They show up every day. Get out of bed. Make a meal. Show up for work. Help others.
The question you need to ask is, “How am I helping me?” How are you taking that contrast from bad experiences and turning it into the fuel that lights the engine of your desire?
If your idea of what you do want is born out of fear versus desire you will repeat the same patterns over and over again.
The most important thing to do now is listen to your inner wisdom and follow your intuition. Act on your inspired impulses. Keep focused on desire. Nothing is more important than your mood or your attitude right now.
You are in control my love.
Everything you are experiencing is a direct result of what you have attracted into your life – for whatever reason. It’s not that any experience is good or bad, it’s what you do with the experiences that you have.
How are you learning from what you know? What actions are you taking next? Life on this sweet earth is short and precious.
The only thing standing between where you are and where you want to be is resistance. And that’s a blog for another day.
Make sense? Add your voice to the comments below!
Talk soon!
P.S. If resistance to love is what is getting in your way, join me for The Great Do-Over – Rewrite Your Love Story. Class starts October 11 and only a few spots remain. Register here: https://thegreatdoover.com/love
Release Fear. Think Clear. Get Into Gear.