“Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.”
~ Steven Pressfield The War of Art
My conversations with smart and successful women this week have all followed a similar vein:
“When I get my kids through college, it will be my turn.”
“When my husband gets his… promotion, operation, retirement package, [whatever he needs] then it will be my turn.”
“When I have enough money to feel secure, I’ll take time for me.”
“After I get this promotion, I will have achieved everything I wanted. Then I’ll be happy.”
This is resistance.
Resistance crushes dreams. It steals time from family, robs us of social connections, and extinguishes passion in all forms. It keeps us running on the hamster wheel – without a lot of time to question why.
Resistance is sticky – it pops up as soon as we acknowledge the possibility of getting what we really want – “real” time with family, better health, freedom from a bad relationship, or starting our own business – we quickly start explaining why none of that can happen now.
“Rule of thumb: The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”
Resistance exacts a price. You may lose yourself in work – spending long hours at the office, working weekends and spending time with your kids with your laptop in tow.
After work and the emptiness of the day, you may have more than a couple glasses of wine – reach for the chips and cookies – sure signs that you are experiencing resistance.
Staying in resistance prevents us from taking action that would result in deeper connection, better relationships, and more happiness.
Keep this up and your health may suffer. Suddenly the thyroid stops working, you have anxiety, depression, insomnia, adrenal stress, insulin resistance or worse – autoimmune disorders or even cancer.
So my question to you is this: How long will you wait? And when the time finally comes when you have no more excuses, will you have the focus and the energy and the determination to change? Or will there be new resistance?
“Resistance has no strength of its own. Every ounce of juice it possesses comes from us. We feed it with power by our fear of it. Master that fear and we conquer resistance.”
We are experts at weaving our own stories. Covering over our fears with rationalizations of why things need to stay the way they are. The truth is, we are afraid. We are afraid of not having enough, of being alone, of being selfish, of failure; we are even afraid of success.
Examine any fear and behind it, you will find a thought that isn’t even true.
If I’ve done my math right and all resistance is based on fear and all fear is based on a thought then…
All resistance is based on a thought that isn’t even true.
To overcome resistance, meet it head on. I See it. Name it. Understand it. Identify the fear behind it, and explore the real truth of the situation. Here’s what I learned about resistance in my own life.
You may be holding yourself back for no good reason.
In love,
Release Fear. Think Clear. Get Into Gear.